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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28658685">Finding the Familiar</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/coolbreezemage/pseuds/coolbreezemage'>coolbreezemage</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Star Trek: Discovery</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Gen, Hints of Saru/Tilly, Missing Scene</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 03:47:24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,529</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28658685</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/coolbreezemage/pseuds/coolbreezemage</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Some missing Tilly moments as she adapts to her new world and her new Captain.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Michael Burnham &amp; Sylvia Tilly, Saru &amp; Sylvia Tilly</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>22</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Finding the Familiar</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I originally had slightly different dialogue in the section about Georgiou, but then I watched Terra Firma and decided to go for some foreshadowing instead.</p><p>Also, this got a bit shippier than I intended… I blame the wonderful people I’ve been chatting to in the comments of the precious and rare Saru &amp; Tilly fics I’ve managed to find. </p><p>Hoping to write some slice-of-life or maybe adventure fic soon, even if I have to meddle with the timeline to fit them in. I did some episode-style fics for the new Kirk and Spock movies way back when that was a thing, but I never managed to finish them. This time, I’m hoping to do better!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Thirty-second century tech is weird. But Tilly likes weird. And lots of people, including her mother and most of her teachers, have called her weird at some point in her life, so she supposes it’s a natural fit. But they’re all dead now, so it probably doesn’t matter anyway.</p><p>Michael’s given her a <em> something </em> from her collection of scavenged gadgets. It’s a round clear thing attached to a flat black triangle, like someone ironed a snowglobe, and it scans things and then shows little light-up holographic versions inside. It’s probably some sort of toy for babies, but she’s not going to say no to it, not after Michael’s gone through a wormhole and waited a whole year for Discovery to follow her. And then rescued them from parasitic ice. In any case, it’s very mesmerizing, and she’s having trouble remembering to look up from its shimmering surface while she talks.</p><p>“You know,” Tilly says, while Michael sets out a row of very strange figures on her table. “when you first came onboard, you sounded a lot like a Vulcan. I mean, you talked like a Vulcan. All formal and direct and stuff. But now you talk more like a human. Is that because of your boyfriend?” </p><p>“He’s not my boyfriend,” Michael says, way too fast, which everyone knows means he totally is, but Tilly’s not going to push it.</p><p>“Of course, of course, I only mean, you know, when you show up with a very attractive guy it kinda leads to the assumption that…”</p><p>Michael sighs, but she’s smiling. “Please tell me you’re not still like this around the Captain.”</p><p>“No!” Tilly insists. “I wouldn’t, I mean, I’m not rude. Saru’s told me I can talk if it helps me think but, uh, I shouldn’t lose what I’m focused on. Or swear. He doesn’t like swearing.” Which is weird because he probably knows more swear words than anyone else with all the languages he’s studied. </p><p>Michael snorts. “Tell me about it. It felt like we argued about that every day on the <em> Shenzhou</em>.” </p><p>Tilly can imagine it.</p><p>“Did he tell you we hiked to a settlement together? We met a bunch of shady people there. And then the Emperor blew people up. But that’s not surprising. That’s kinda what she does.” </p><p>Michael shakes her head slowly, as if she can’t believe what she’s seeing. “He trusts you. You’ve grown so much.”</p><p>Tilly blushes. “Not as much as you.” She’s not the one who survived a year on her own, not knowing if her friends were dead or worse.</p><p>She points to one of the gizmos on Michael’s table, the floaty one that’s currently transforming from a shape a little like a deer to one like a fancy knife or a very sharp spaceship. “What’s that?”</p><p>“That’s a sentinel icon from Amadeus V. It’s supposed to detect abnormal radiation.”</p><p>“Neat. Uh, how do you know when it’s detecting something abnormal?”</p><p>Michael laughs. “I actually don’t know.”</p><p>“What if it’s detecting abnormal radiation right now?”</p><p>Michael peers at it. “No, I don’t think so. I’ve seen it make that shape before and nothing bad happened.”</p><p>Tilly nearly jumps out of her skin when the room comm buzzes. But it’s not a ship-wide radiation catastrophe, it’s just the Captain, asking after Michael. </p><p>“You should go,” Tilly tells her. “Don’t worry, I won’t touch any of your stuff.”</p><p>Michael sighs, her expression distant. “I guess I’m going to have to get used to following orders again.” She straightens her uniform and heads out down the hall.</p><p>Tilly flops down on her bed and sighs. Wow, it’s strange to think that she’s sharing a room with the woman who saved the entire universe. Though after all they’ve been through, it’s hardly like that’s a new thing. And according to Michael they all played a part so maybe <em> she’s </em> the roommate who saved the universe. She did get their shields working again, after all.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>A few days later, after they’ve left the Trill homeworld, she’s in Saru’s ready room presenting some work she’s done on the Sphere data. </p><p>He’s put aside whatever he’s doing with the crew roster for a moment to listen. As far as she knows, he’s been working non-stop since they arrived in this timeline. She wishes she could tell him to take a break, but it’s not her place and he probably wouldn’t listen anyway. He wouldn’t stop working when he thought he was literally dying, so why should this be any different?</p><p>And there’s something else troubling her, and she’d decided not to say anything, but after that disaster of a dinner she feels she has to say <em> something </em>.</p><p>“Michael’s told me some things about the mirror universe, you know, the one where I’m an evil tyrant-“</p><p>“I am aware, Ensign.”</p><p>“Of course, of course you are…” On second thought, that probably wasn’t the best way to make her point. “So, the Emperor, I mean Georgiou, uh, why are you letting her come to the senior staff meetings? She doesn’t respect anybody and she’s only out for herself…”</p><p>Saru’s demeanor turns serious in an instant. “If she is harassing any of the crew, I will deal with that directly,” he says, his gaze a question and a prompt.</p><p>Tilly shakes her head. “No, not like that. I mean, in general.” </p><p>He gives her that expression - well, it’s more of a head tilt, really - that says she’s asked a very peculiar and possibly amusing question but he’ll try to answer anyway. </p><p>“Philippa Georgiou possesses a unique skillset that… may be of use to us. And she has already proven herself willing to assist us. I only hope I can convince her to restrain her use of force and… more devious tactics.”</p><p>Tilly nods, thinking of smashed heads and phaser burns. “Yeah, but that doesn’t mean you should invite her to dinner. Because Michael says she <em> eats people </em>, and, and…” She feels her voice rising, “You really shouldn’t have to be so nice to someone who literally wants to eat you.” She doesn’t want to apologize for the outburst this time. “Sir, speaking honestly, why are you doing this?”</p><p>Saru is quiet a moment before he responds. “I understand your concern, Ensign. And I appreciate your…. care. But we are still of the Federation, even when there is little Federation to be found. We treat others with decency regardless of their crimes. Because it is the right thing to do, and because it may help to set an example for others.”</p><p>Damn, he’s so noble. Tilly sighs. “I understand. And… I think I agree with you. When you put it that way.”</p><p>An elegant nod. “Thank you."</p><p>"You still don't have to invite her to dinner, though," she adds.</p><p>"I will consider that," Saru says, something like humor in his face.</p><p>Tilly hopes he does.</p><p>"And it would serve you well, Ensign,” Saru goes on, “not to speak of her origins so freely. That information is still classified, even so far outside our own time.”</p><p>And that’s one of his subtle scoldings that she really is grateful for, except it does still sting a bit. But it’s better than screwing something up.</p><p>“Oh, right,” she says, “Yup, my lips are sealed.” She even does the gesture.</p><p>That earns her another semi-exasperated look, and really he is so much more patient than she deserves….</p><p>“Very good. Now then, to business…” He waves a hand at the display and pulls up a set of familiar diagrams. “Your work is improving,” he says. “You have always been diligent, but recently your reports have been more direct and detailed. They have been of great service to me, and to the rest of the crew. You should carry on in that direction.” </p><p>His praise is warm. “Thank you, sir.” And now she’s trying and failing to suppress a smile. He’s proud of her, and that feels so good. </p><p>She’s halfway back to her quarters when she remembers that thing with the holograms and realizes he could probably tell.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>And then she finds Grudge under her bed and maybe she should have seen this coming, but there’s no way she could have. Michael had made very sure of that.</p><p>Saru doesn’t blame her, of course he doesn’t, but she still feels like she disappointed him somehow. </p><p>Things are very uncomfortable for a while after Michael comes back. Tilly’s overjoyed to see her and Booker safe, and she’s also glad he’s taking his cat back, but Saru looks absolutely heartbroken and it’s hard to watch.</p><p>She wonders if his people can cry, and a moment later realizes that’s a stupid question. Of course they do. It might not look like what she thinks of as crying, but they do.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>When he asks her to be his temporary First Officer, she almost has a heart attack because she knows she’s not ready for it. There’s no way she’s ready for it. </p><p>But everyone else is certain she is. </p><p>They’re 900 years in the future and nothing makes sense anymore, but she knows she can trust her crew and her captain. </p><p>She just hopes she can live up to his expectations.</p><p>
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